A friend of mine said today she considers her speeding tickets to be a “freedom tax” - the price she must pay to choose the speed she will drive on the open highway. It reminded me that I have been blessed with an overabundance of very cool friends.
Naturally, our group chimed in and improved upon the idea, deciding we should all have the option of paying more for license plates with stickers that let us drive as fast as we want on highways. Don’t even bother pulling us over – that defeats the whole purpose of driving fast - just let us pre-pay for the privilege of channeling our inner Montana on rural roads and leave us alone.
Think about it for a minute - how many of you would pay, let’s say an extra $250, to be liberated from the 65 mph speed limit? I thought so. And think about how much revenue our cash-strapped state could raise if they let us buy freedom by the slice.
In fact, I think adjustable-rate freedom it is such a good idea we should extend it to everything. Instead of paying income tax at rates that increase based on how much money we make, let us all choose our own rates based on how much freedom we are willing to pay for.
At 10% tax you get your basic rights of citizenship as our government has currently capped, hogtied, and straight-jacketed them with its kajillion laws and perverted interpretation of the Constitution. If this is your idea of the land of the free and the home of the brave, then pay your ticket and enjoy the ride. Go in peace, friend.
But for 15%, you can upgrade to the “Goldwater” package – you get a coupon book with, say, 100 coupons exempting you from any laws, regulations, and mandates that some stick-up-it in a far-away cubicle decided to saddle you with that interfere with your personal civil liberties. Whether its Cuban cigars or concealed carry, each coupon gives you back a right they took from you along the way.
Or you can go all-in at 20%, which buys the top of the line “Ron Paul Plus” package – you get an interactive, searchable, electronic Smart Constitution with unlimited veto power…and if you buy today, Ginsu knives and George Foreman Grill.
So if you don’t ever want your government treading on you again - not to mention fat-free burgers and a paring knife that will cut a soup can - then you want to get in on this unbridled liberty package while supplies last.
Here’s how it works: whenever some government official puts the grip on you, you just show them your RP+ Card emblazoned with “We Are The 20%” and then they have to talk into your Smart Constitution device and tell it what it is they think you must do or must not do because they say so.
The Smart Constitution searches itself to see if they have the authority to bust your chops; if they don’t the thing lights up and vibrates like a reservation fob at the Outback. And then it starts screaming at them in that droid electro-voice: “Buzz…off! You…have…no…authority! Lay…by…your…dish!”
You win! Nullified! You are your own Supreme Court, only without those annoying 4 dissenting votes that show up like third cousins at a wedding reception with open bar. I don't get those 5-4 votes; any nine 8th graders could get it right while texting and giving you that “whatever” look that makes you want to smack ‘em and go apologize to your own mom. You know the one. But I digress...
And for an extra $20, you can download a celebrity voice module to holler at them – Ted Nugent, Allen West, Clint Eastwood, Penn Jillette, Vicki McKenna, Herman Cain, my friend Pierro, or the man himself, Ron Paul. The Ron Paul module tells them to bugger off and then gives them a ten minute lecture on the Federal Reserve; that alone is worth the extra $20, trust me.
How about it, patriots? Wouldn’t it be worth the extra money to be able to say to the government, “you’re not the boss of me” and mean it? Wouldn’t you give almost anything to feel like they did in September of 1787, when Americans empowered themselves to rule over their government, instead of the other way around? How much is that much liberty worth to you? What would you pay to live free - 20%, 25%, 30% maybe?
Or how about…ZERO? How about our freedom is not for sale? How about we do not negotiate with terrorists? How about we remember that our freedom has already been purchased and we all start acting like we own it?
Our freedoms and rights were gifted to us by God; we should not have to pay a ransom to the government that hijacked them. We already have the right to tell our government to go pound sand; it is guaranteed to us in the Constitution that every single one of our elected officials, appointees, and military personnel swore an oath to uphold. Don’t want to uphold it anymore? Then quit.
We are a free people endowed with rights that government is not permitted to alter. We elect other free people to represent us, not to rule us. They are our reservation fob; they have the responsibility to light up and vibrate and say no to any law or regulation or administrative rule that limits our freedom.
We have tens of thousands of elected officials who are supposed to say no government encroachment on our liberties, we should not have our freedom hanging by a thread on the whims and mood swings of one or two judges – this is not figure skating.
Some of our elected officials get that. It doesn’t matter if they are Republicans or Democrats, liberal or conservative, libertarian or socialist, first-termers or careerists with decades of scars to prove it. If they get it, they deserve to represent us.
But most of them don’t. Most of them have turned our system of noble self-government to a tawdry auction of stolen goods, where privilege goes to the highest bidder and where partisanship passes for principle. If they don’t get it, they don’t deserve to represent us; they deserve to be replaced.
And that is the simple agenda of our liberty movement: to keep elected officials who protect our freedoms and abide by our Constitution, and to replace elected officials who don’t. Voting in general elections is not tricky; nine times out of ten all you need to know about any candidate is where they think our rights come from. It’s a one-word answer.
If you get the chance, ask a candidate that question and count the number of words in their answer. You’ll know what to do.
“Moment Of Clarity” is a weekly commentary by Libertarian writer and speaker Tim Nerenz, Ph.D. Visit Tim’s website www.timnerenz.com to find your moment and order Tim’s new book, “BRING IT!